Thursday, December 6, 2012

PAIL Anniversary post!

In consultation with the spouse, we've concluded that I have a very distinctive accent from a very specific (fairly unpopulated) part of the world, and anyone who's ever heard me would know immediately where I'm from and who I was, so no audio-log.

Since no video/audio, here's a Lego rendition of me with my backpack as created by the kid.


BUT. Question answering!

1) What country do you live in? If you feel comfortable sharing, what state or region as well?



I'm in the US in an area where it snows in the winter, although there's no snow yet (boo).  There are no big mountains either (phew).  My blog belongs in the central time zone because it's a happy medium.

2) What is your favorite “ordinary moment” of the day?

I really like when the kid (age 4) gets home after daycare and comes running in to tell me something and is all MOMMY! GUESS WHAT!  It's fairly similar when I'm fetching her from daycare but she has to show me a dozen things before we can leave, or "just one more game" or some other stalling tactic.  Her nonstop chatter in the 30 minutes after daycare is excellent and entertaining.

3) What is the first thing you do with your little one in the morning?

Ahem.  Often very little with the kid, since I currently am not sleeping terribly well at night and so stay in bed until after her usual departure time for daycare.  Little Monster and I exchange pokes when I'm woken up at about 3:30am every morning (or I poke in response to kicks and get kicks back).  On mornings where I'm up before the kid goes to daycare, my major project is reminding her to keep moving and doing her next task (get out of bed, get downstairs, get your clothes on, no your underwear first, get your socks on, zip your coat) because otherwise she wouldn't move for about a half hour and then she'd probably go looking for some random thing without putting clothes on at all.

4) What has infertility changed the most about you?

I'd say I'm less trusting of biology than I was before.  I used to think that eating healthy and exercise would fix everything and now I don't trust that biology will do its thing accurately at all.

5) What do you wish people knew about pregnancy or parenting through the ALI journey?
All that stuff that happened before the pregnancy/adoption, that doesn't stop hurting just because  the journey has changed.  It's long-term, life-altering stuff that goes down and it's never undone (so I would say you can't "resolve" an ALI journey, because that implies an end when it isn't really).  I think of it like if you've been a soldier, you are never a civilian in the same way you were before being a soldier.  It changes you forever and is a part of you forever.

14 comments:

  1. It's interesting that you don't think "resolved" is an accurate term for ending the day-to-day struggle of IF, whether that means birthing a child, adopting or stopping treatments to live childless/free. I understand your thinking on this but it makes me wonder, is there an appropriate word?

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    1. I've been looking for it for some time. I think I'm stuck on the musical meaning of "resolve" where you go from a sour sound to an uplifting one, and I'm not sure you ever get that major chord after infertility. Probably a lovely blues chord that's still pretty but not Bach perfection. Somewhere there must be a proper word, but resolve is too neat for my tastes. I'll keep looking.

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  2. The Lego rendition makes me smile SO BIG! Love it!

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  3. LOVE the lego...awesome!!!! and yes based on what I know about you...your accent would definitely give you away....we love CST!!!! my hubs originally from EST, says CST is the best...NFL starts at noon...and really that's all that makes him happy!!!

    And your answer to #5 is kind of like mine...it's hard work and it never goes away...Can't wait to see everyone's VLOGS...mine is set to publish at 10PM on Friday night!

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  4. *Snort* Love Lego Mom PharmD.

    I really struggle with the word "resolve" as well, but I am not sure why. I think it has to do with what you discuss above though... that the emotional stuff never really goes away. In some cases, neither does the physical. My condition has life-long health implications, so completing my family-building doesn't resolve it in the least. But I'm stumped about a better (or at least, more fitting) word as well. Really interesting point.

    Glad you participated! Now, whenever I see you around, I'll know what to picture! :)

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    1. This is Lego Mom PharmD version 3. The ponytail one that looks like Shelob is about to eat me is more accurate (that's Frodo's face, not this happening beach face) but not the current incarnation.

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    3. Same here-- "resolve" to me feels like "it was a problem, but I figured it out and now all balance has been restored." I think infertility can be resolved for some, but for me it's changed some things that I don't think can or would ever go back to the way they were before. Not necessarily a bad thing! But it's not undoable. I do think, though, that it might be possible to eventually put it away, like "my life has moved on past this phase now."

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    4. (Sorry for the above, by the way-- the "Julie" above was me! I keep signing into the wrong account like an IDJIT when I comment on Blogger posts, ugh!)

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  5. I love your ordinary moment of the day! :) It makes me look forward to when Alidia is learning like that and excited to share what she did that day. Such a fun age!

    Also, love your solider to IFer comparison. So very very true.

    Glad you were able to participate even if not with a video. The lego person did the trick! ;)

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  6. Lego mom! ;) People always say I'm crazy because I genuinely can't wait until the girls are just chattering away, to me, to each other... I have a hard time believing I'll ever truly get tired of hearing their little voices, and more so, hearing the THOUGHTS that are in their heads (kid thoughts are so entertaining!) :) The thought of picking them up from school and hearing them tell me about their day is pretty much heaven for me. Man... four years old. Is it true it all just goes in the blink of an eye???

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    1. I'd say 3 or 4 blinks, but some of that is sped up because of school and my brain being numb except to more drug info (but this week's exam only has 20 drugs! YAY!). It goes in spurts where it seems like she'll never, ever, EVER reach a milestone of some sort (having hair, crawling, walking, using the word 'suppose' properly, not carrying the cat despite being told often not to and then scratched... I can dream she'll learn that) and then really fast where there are new things in great big bunches.

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  7. I can't wait to pick up Stella from daycare and have her chatter about her day!!

    "I used to think that eating healthy and exercise would fix everything " -- SO true. That was shocking to me to realize that good diet and exercise wouldn't "fix" me. Gah.

    Thanks for participating - this was fun to read!!

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  8. Great answers and I so agree with #4 - I hear this so much from my family, if you just eat perfectly, or exercise more, you will be fixed. UM< NO!!! Sometimes you just can't be fixed!

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