Monday, September 12, 2016

Fired #MicroblogMonday

Last Monday I woke up in excruciating gut pain, stabby and sometimes diffuse and I crept to the bathroom and back to bed, where I spent almost the whole day barely able to move at all. Since it never got worse and eventually got slightly better, I made an appointment to see my OB/GYN for my day off on Wednesday. I stayed miserable and in lots of pain and limped along with little to no sleep because PAIN.

Thursday my doc's office called to tell me it was a burst 2cm cyst that was "resolving" and take some ibuprofen and you'll be fine. I pointed out that I'm deathly allergic to the stuff and that I remained barely able to work and asked what to do about the pain instead. 24 hours of misery later, his office calls back and says "he only prescribes narcotics after surgery so go to the ER if you can't manage the pain."

Dude is totally fired as my doctor. I deserve better and I won't settle for "just relax, it will be fine" ever again.

My techs bullied me into going to the doctor by making me an appointment with a new doc across town and demanding my boss give me Saturday off (after a crying I was in so much pain break when I rarely even take 5 minutes for lunch). I slept for 15 hours Friday night once I got some little baby narcotics to help with the pain. I'm still miserable so tomorrow I go in search of a doctor who will actually take care of me instead of treating my severe pain like I'm drug-seeking. Hint: I work with drugs all day and see exactly what abusing them does. If I ask for a prescription, I am truly miserable and desperate.

Monday, August 29, 2016

Banned purchases #MicroblogMondays

My spouse's list: coloring and puzzle books (2 for girls, 2 for adults), tiny sketch pad at tourist trap museum.

Kid list: all new school supplies even though we probably had most things somewhere

All of us: way too much take out and fast food and restaurant food, fan for living/dining room.

Overall I think the "no we aren't buying new things right now" litany works fairly well on the girls and their demands for new things. Since we have a good list of what needs replacing, we don't buy things on impulse just because it's a good deal but if there is a good deal, we are ready to take advantage (see: spouse's new shirt for work). But food is still very stockpiled and not in the buying ban. That is a whole nother blog post!

Planning well for meals continues to be a struggle and I think may be reassigned from my spouse to me so my spouse is solely responsible for laundry and dishes.

How do you handle buying new things? How do you cope when someone else drops the ball and how many chances do they get to pick it up again?

Monday, August 22, 2016

Buying ban update #MicroblogMondays

We are currently in month something or other of the buying ban, wherein we buy no things, only food, travel, and replacements for essential items. Maybe 2? It goes until December, when we intend to buy only festive winter holiday gifts, then pick a new buying ban goal.

12 or so screws for bed (from I.kea but we live far away & have been to impatient for free replacements to arrive since the bed got broken in fun adult circumstances but the first several tries failed to work but the cost too little to return)
Coat/backpack rack for front door (lost originally purchased hooks)

Not replacements but deemed cheaper than renting repeatedly:
Book of life dvd 
Zootopia dvd

Just stuff we bought: 
Sandwich containers for lunches (x8, imagining my spouse gets a job)
Snack size containers for lunches (x8 small, 5 medium)
Dress shirt for Spouse (on super clearance; upon wardrobe survey, this makes 5 work shirts which might be too few)

Later this week I will discuss each group in more detail and hopefully hit the high points on the buying ban experience.

Monday, August 15, 2016

Jeggy cat #MicroblogMondays

Last week, Little Monster started requesting to see jeggy cat. I had no idea what that meant at all. She also wants to see my friend across the country's cat by name on the book o' faces so I initially thought Jeggy was a proper name of some mystery cat. The Kid asked to borrow my iDevice and flipped over to open up Sushi and Little Monster eagerly pointed to the very blob-like cat and exclaimed "jeggy cat! See! She jeggles when she eats swooshy." Then I learned she meant jiggly cat. I'm so god she still sometimes mispronounces sushi as "swooshy" because it keeps her little just a little bit longer. She starts preschool in a week or two.

Monday, August 8, 2016

All the vitamins #MicroblogMonday

I have now purchased the last prenatal vitamins I will ever own (unless I miraculously get knocked up and stay that way). I figure I won't ever buy any more because, really, who am I kidding? This third child idea is a pipe dream. It is mostly freeing to know I will never buy another rotten vitamin again. Blech I hate vitamins so much. I'm also glad to have an end date to this goofy idea of mostly mine so we won't be in infertility limbo forever. Hopefully next cycle I can get time off work to go have an HS.G but I decided on no more progesterone levels for now (anovulatory last cycle, not so surprising anyway). I can't fathom how I will manage doctor visits if I do get pregnant with the current state of my job and I hate that. The total lack of flexibility and coverage for sick days irks me. It obviously doesn't surprise me at all. Sigh. I decided today that corporate will meet my demands or I will find another job so I'm sprucing up my cv in preparation...

Monday, July 4, 2016

Fireworks #MicroblogMonday

Last year the Kid really wanted to go see fireworks. Little Monster needed to go to bed far earlier so we split up and the Kid and I went, against my better judgement. She hates loud noises. We went early and ran into friends and had a grand time. The fireworks were pretty. Afterward the kid had a 3 hour panic attack about a variety of things she had been worrying about... and it was too loud.

This year the girls and my spouse are on vacation and I'm home alone. I think I'll skip the fireworks.

Monday, June 27, 2016

Drama llama rama #MicroblogMonday

*Actually this is kinda full length. Tl;dr Ugh avoiding being dramatic while establishing safe boundaries is wicked hard and I am flailing struggling.

Have you read the Llama llama, something drama books? My girls have the whole collection. We read one a night for the better part of a year. Now naturally any time there is drama, I frame it in llama terms. In my head and under my breath when my very dramatically maybe divorcing patients are in the pharmacy, I recite a line or two. "Llama llama, relationship drama..."

In this llama-filled context, I often remind myself not to be a drama llama. It is really wicked hard. My extended family is trying my patience and making me cry because I am left out again (like always?). On my mom's side, the family business is celebrating a big round number of years. I'm the only one who never worked there because after I applied twice and didn't get hired, I gave up and decided my uncle was a weasel face and the struggle wasn't worth the drama. We weren't invited to the celebration by my uncle or anyone. If the expectation was that my mom would invite us, that's just codependent silliness and avoiding communicating directly. She's a space case enough of the time that we are lucky my cousin mentioned it in passing so I inquired further or we might have heard nothing about it at all until someone was upset we weren't there. It would have been my fault we weren't there too.

On the spouse's family side, we are expecting our first nephew (or surprise niece) soon. I figured that, since the family tradition is baby showers where you meet the baby, I ought to start planning that in the next few weeks. Last week a cousin sent out baby shower invitations for a few weeks from now. I don't really know what to say, but I sobbed for a good long while. Context: the last wedding in the family was in 2009 and there's been one occasion that might have required a baby shower but was complicated by a very long nicu stay and one of twins dying, the other coming home during flu lock-down season's start. I thought about a shower but was swamped with rotations so didn't make time for it. I'll have to apologize eventually, but I'd cry too much right now. Anyway it isn't like there's a drama-free way to say "I am super upset at being excluded even if you're intending to be helpful because I work too much and live too far away. Not consulting me hurt and now I don't have enough notice to even attend. Do you think I like being cut off? This was the only way to pay the bills when it counted and fear won." Furthermore I'd always imagined this would be the redeeming baby shower, the one I would enjoy because I got to help plan it so we could skip triggers and there'd be a baby around to change the subject if things got too complex. Bah. Expectations, ruining things again. Maybe. See? I half expect to see some wool growing into my eyes and my hands turning to hooves because somehow I have become a drama llama.

How do you avoid drama? How do you manage expectations while still preventing yourself from being hurt by expecting nothing?