Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Fun things to do while pregnant: a short list

1. Imitate a beached whale and demand the spouse rescue you with beverages and fish sandwiches. Chips optional.

2. Discover things that entertain the fetus, such as poking, show tunes, and the cat purring.

3. Enjoy Little Monster kicking in response to typing of laptop propped on top of hir.

4. Play "does this fit?" dress-up with the 4 year old.

5. Declare shopping is required because nothing fits other than the spouse's dress shirts and take 4 year old shopping.

6. Play "pick the most excitingly colorful outfit" with the Kid and then try to let her "win" and acquire some of her festive choices without looking like a clown or like the 80's threw up its rejected outfits.

7. Take extra naps, possibly even in the mornings.

8. Take comical pictures of cat wearing recently discarded wardrobe items.  Kitty is not amused.

9. Try on every coat in the house to find one that fits now and might fit until Little Monster arrives.  Check all the pockets and discover hidden treasures!  Expired benadryl! $3.68 in change!  Ticket stubs from a play 5 years ago!

10. Demand extra snacks be delivered frequently, including special orders from the local convenience store's snack section and other normally forbidden items like Cheetos.

11. Play the "I'm so dehydrated!" card a bit more often than accurate to get drink delivery in addition to snacks.

12. Make ridiculous lists to entertain self while suffering through biostatistics lecture.

2 comments:

  1. Hahaha! #9 is pretty spot on. I found a phone bill from 2001 in an old raincoat pocket I *just* gave away to charity this weekend. 2001!!!

    Also, now I want Cheetos. THANKS A LOT.

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  2. Love it! Now I must go digging through my coat closet!

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