On coffee

Once upon a time, 16 year old me did not drink coffee. Ever.  I did consume plenty of caffeinated beverages, being a busy student who did dumb things like work 30-40+ hours a week supporting her family (oh codependency, we meet again. Or appropriate dependency? That's for another post.) while in school all day.

Then I decided to drink way too much soda in a 24 hour period (I probably was out with friends until midnight, slept a little, then went to work to start a 5am shift) and I burned my throat drinking all that acidic soda.  This required a switch in caffeine source to something that wouldn't make my throat hurt more (and recall, this is pre-energy drinks, thank Heaven or I would have ODed on them).

So I had a crappy cappuccino.  Since I worked at a fast food joint, and could buy these half priced, I gagged one down.  The first one was awful but it kept me awake.

The second was really awful and I hated it, so I added some more sugar to it.  It was still awful but I needed to stay awake so I guzzled it.

I have the feeling that after 2 I knew I was hooked.  I would drink another one, and it would be awful, but I would be awake and getting things done, and that was the most important thing, right?

Fast-forward through a week of awful cappuccinos (at school for breakfast, at work for an afternoon snack) and my budget is shot.  BUT at work, coffee is free (as was soda, but throat still hurt like mad drinking one) so I mixed coffee with about 50% milk and sugar and suffered through it.  Tasted like road tar.  Ick.  But also, that coffee came with a euphoric sense that I could handle things better afterward.  I would be awake! A coherent, awake, rockstar who could conquer the world!

And to this day, I loathe the taste of coffee and yet crave it all the same.  Mmmm... delicious addiction...

Today I had my weekly cup of coffee after my faith community met.  Well, "cup" is a misnomer. I generally have a half cup of coffee, 1/4 cup cream, and 1/4 cup water with some sugar for good measure.

Then there was lunch with friends, which was great.

And then I studied at the library until it closed.  Then... there's only one really good place to study left... a coffee shop!  So being indecisive about what to get, I just got a large coffee... and then a refill because I was thirsty... and now I will be up all night, reliving the disgusting yet wonderful coffee even after I've brushed all the sugar off of my teeth and out of my mouth.

At least it was really good coffee today, not just desperation coffee.