Sunday, April 22, 2012

The Home Stretch

It's now just about 3 weeks until the semester is over. It will be over. It is finite.

Right now it seems like the longest 3 weeks in the world and it will never ever end.  It's pretty scary since my grades are still towing the line of passing or not in at least one if not more classes (but improving!) and one has a cumulative final (eeeeeeeep) that has a minimum grade to pass the class.

I'm moving forward with getting ready for summer however. I've bought a hideous carry-on to take to Utah when I go to the School on Alcoholism and Addiction in... whenever it is.  I'm plotting rotations I'd like to pursue and have started pursuing at least one, and I'm about to finish the stuff to do my summer mini-rotation in a hospital (which I'm absolutely terrified about, just in case you were wondering).  Well actually, I'm excited and scared because I know nothing or nearly nothing about hospital pharmacy and what I do know, I'm not a big fan of and I'd rather spend my time saying no to vicodin refills and chatting with old people than have that extra pressure (that I imagine is there with people dying every which way, since it is a hospital).

On the upside, after my last final I get to celebrate with friends and family and I'm excited about that.  It's been a big bad year and to celebrate (at least I really hope so, G-d willing I get that far) is pretty amazing.  Plus the rascally kittens will be a year old then too, so I imagine we will have a cat birthday party too.  I may order egg free cupcakes just for me.

Today at the grocery store I saw a guy I went to high school with at the grocery store with wife and baby and it reminded me that this isn't out of the ordinary any more.  It's about time everyone else got hitched and had babies.

I'm still sad about being lapped by friends (but somehow not family, go figure; lookin at you here, family who isn't having any babies at all for me to goo over).  One friend just celebrated her 4th wedding anniversary and is expecting baby 3 in the fall, meaning she's had 3 (well, 2.5) in the time since my kid was born... oh life. How mysterious and surprising it is.  I've decided to just let myself be hurt a little bit when there's another baby coming into my life who isn't mine and then move on with gooing and insisting on holding the baby and soforth.  I am so sad that my infertility buddy classmate won't be around next year in the same way for me to commiserate with about the abundance of babies in our class who we don't get to keep, but I'm hopeful that things go well for her and that in a year or less I get to see pictures of her baby (biological or otherwise).  I've also decided to box up and give away all the horded baby stuff because whatever.  It's likely that even if we get pregnant (ahahahahah! as if!) sometime soon we'd move at least once between now and baby's arrive, and how much is it worth to haul all that stuff around anyway? Not enough that it's worth it.

And now, back to the regularly scheduled slaving away at studying and tossing the cats off the computer.

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