I think I've had a case of something approaching the baby blues, but instead of crying or moping or anxiety, I've been pretty numb.
Now that I'm actually excited about things, I can see that it's been some time since I was this interested in anything other than hanging out with the baby. I was absolutely thrilled about Drug Monkey's new book being on its way. I was doubly thrilled about the arrival of Little Monster's cool new baby leggings today.
I actually think the purchase of the baby leggings is one of the few baby-related things I've been really excited about in a long time. We are so lucky to have an awesome faith community and a lot of very generous folks have given the girls clothes/gifts so LM is now a (highly PINK!) well-dressed baby. We had only 2 outfits in her 3 month size before all these gifts due to my baby stuff purge before we moved and general nerves about buying bigger stuff for her before her arrival. However, this generosity and us shopping at thrift stores for the rest of her clothes has meant that I picked out none of her clothes (or picked the least offensive option) except her coming home ensemble.
Maybe baby leggings aren't a big deal in the grand scheme but it's nice to pick out clothes for my own baby girl. It is small but choosing 4 pairs of leggings was so much fun, and more fun than I've had in weeks or months.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I'm done holding my breath and waiting for the big bad thing to happen to Little Monster. She's here and she ought to get to wear something cute I picked out for her. I have today and I'm going to do my best to live in it. I can enjoy Little Monster napping on me right now. I don't have to wait for some magical line where there's some theoretical guarantee nothing bad will happen to her to celebrate her tiny awesomeness. All we have is today to live, and I hope I can let the worries about all the unknown tomorrows go completely.
So hopefully the corner has been turned and the blahs will be gone for good now or soon.