Sunday, January 29, 2012

School vs. life vs. momming

In case you wondered, by virtue of a college degree in English with a side of art school and poetry, I reserve the right to verb things (is making "verb" into a verb such a verbing? oh yes.) at will, and I think that the act of mothering ought to get another verb, momming.  More about momming next week. My blog goal is a post a week.

Anyway, right now, school is winning. I got a job offer in January (oh, it's still January. pretend I didn't mention January like it was a million years ago) and we're broke (see: professional school, long commute, kid in childcare full time, being sick with lousy insurance) so I took it.  So far I've worked 3 days a week and it's been a lot.  But honestly it's been great to be out of the house and away from this computer, and it's great to see that I like working in a pharmacy and all this school isn't a waste of money (again. oops English degree).

But I haven't really spent any significant time with my family all week what with church commitments (that are nearly over, thanks be to G-d) and work and other life commitments, plus the studying. I'm now taking a break from studying because I'm going to go nuts trying to memorize all of these antibiotics. At least I understood the cases for this week's presentations (eeeeep presentations of patient cases).

Tonight I took a break from the studying to watch the kid rolling up crescent dogs and putting on the cheese with the spouse, and it was great, and sad.  My baby grew up! eeeep! When did that happen?  So much skill with fine motor things!  And the cute sneaking pieces of cheese when there was nobody looking!  I feel like I've been gone for years.

Also the kid keeps telling me about foods that are healthy, and asking about every single thing, "Is this healthy, Mommy?"  sigh. I just have a super case of baby envy.  My pharmacy class is having a pile of babies this year, maybe 8 or 9 among the 75ish of us, most in May and June so they'll be tiny during our labs this summer (BABIES! YAY! and sad because we aren't having any baby, probably any time soon if ever. maybe eventually blogging about that).

As much as I know this is all for the best in the long run, right now it hurts that I'm missing so much of her life so I can be in school.  Guts versus brains, brains winning but guts still aching.

1 comment:

  1. Ugh, this is something that SO many of us struggle with. I think we're doing a monthly theme post along these lines at PAIL this month. You'll have to throw in your two cents!