Let's talk about what isn't working around the Future PharmD household, shall we?
First we have the case of excess dishes caused by the spouse working from home and me being home most days for lunch. We don't eat the same lunch so we have far more lunch dishes volume than we do for dinner, even though there's only two of us at lunch and all four of us for dinner. Breakfast tends toward the same problem. If neither of us were home much of the day, we'd have fewer dishes but we are so it's more mess to wrangle.
Second we have the chronic illness factor. I haven't talked about this much if at all but it's huge right now since it's a mystery ailment that could range from relatively benign to fatal in the coming few years. Hopefully we get a diagnosis so we can move on from the realms of limbo where we've been residing for months. Specific to our situation is that one adult can't stand for more than about 5 minutes at a time and not for more than 20-30 minutes in an hour without severe pain. It's awfully hard to clean the kitchen or move laundry from downstairs back upstairs with those limits, let alone chase children around and keep the baby from destroying all things or chewing on the window ledges where there is surely a lead layer for her to discover. Gaping hole in the system having one of us adults so impaired.
Third we need to add in the "reach factor." There are lots of things that the kid could do for herself or as part of her chores around the house but can't because we have no stepstool. She can't put dishes away from the dishwasher because they are out of her reach. She does put away the silverware and the measuring cups that are stored where she can reach, but again, since the full loop of dish use isn't visible to her, she misses the point and isn't bothered by not getting her dirty dishes where they go.
Fourth we have the case of the jammed system happening. When the trash and recycling bins are full, the trash and recycling pile up in the kitchen (often in large pans or bowls, sometimes just in heaps). Then when the dishwasher is full, the dishes pile up on the counters. Then the dishes and trash and recycling stop making it to the kitchen because we are out of room and they pile up everywhere else. It's all stuff that would be solved if the trash got taken out every day or so and if the recycling went away on a regular basis and the dishwasher were emptied before bed every night or before breakfast every morning. BUT since things get backed up, we then have to deal with the additional resulting messes, then it's exhausting to handle all that mess so it's easier to just give up and live with the chaos.
This week we have added injury to the poor insulted system of keeping order in the kitchen, in that I fell and sprained my ankle. It's my third fall this winter, second carrying Little Monster, and I'm really lucky that I didn't get hurt before but I am still very grumpy about the whole thing. I'm being responsible and icing and elevating and all that jazz. It's getting better. Nothing else around here is getting a whit better though. I can't do anything about it and it CHAFES so much.
So. It is very clear that other people need to take on more responsibility for things and actually follow through if this is going to work. The kid has to have an empty trash can in which to deposit her crusts after dinner and an empty/all dirty dishes dishwasher to put the dishes into afterward or else it just becomes a mess. These are not negotiable things anymore. Any strides I made toward getting the kitchen cleaned up last week (and they were great for us, perhaps not in the grand scheme of things) are now totally undone. I'm not totally sure where to go from here beyond just throwing out things and asking nobody about what I discard because I have had enough. Actually I have decided on ultimatums like "take out the trash, as you promised you would do daily at least once each month for the last 6 months, or the girls and I are leaving you here with the cat to fester until you get it together. It's the trash, not rocket science. Seriously." and other nasty such things. Upside: the trash all got taken out for the first time in months yesterday (here I'm including the trashcan of tissues from beside the bed upstairs and the kid's little trashcan with smashed bits of broken plastic toys as well as the primary kitchen trash that gets emptied much more often). Minor upkeep left undone becomes a big freaking problem if you ignore it too long.
I hate nagging. I hate it so much. But from my perspective, I'm in school full time and the spouse is working part time, so I should not be responsible for all of the laundry and most of the dishes and a plurality of baby care (no I don't change many diapers but I probably will once she stops nursing, no I don't do trash, clean toilets, or the cat box because they make me throw up and I hate that). This does not compute. Perhaps from any perspective, that's what makes sense. We need to do at least one load of laundry every day to keep up and have clothes/diapers for everyone. We need to do at least one load of dishes every day. I am not seeing how me doing most of the laundry and almost all of the dishes is a fair distribution and I am not in any mood to be graceful in doing more than my share. School is my share and I just can't sleep if I also need to do all the laundry and the dishes and my stuff must happen so I never slack off while we can just get a second bedroom trashcan instead of emptying the thing regularly happens. ARG! On the one hand, I hate being unpleasant but on the other hand, just letting it go in the hopes that not nagging would get things done didn't work. I am done waiting for self-reforms to kick in and about ready to start a sticker chart for adult chores too (rewards will clearly be a personal box of ice cream treats)
I did discover a sneaky kid trick yesterday though. If she wants to keep some random scrap of paper that she's made some plan for a sale we are going to have on (this is almost daily that she does this, apparently she has great hopes that selling stuff she's made will fix our lack of funds), she has to recycle 4 other random papers from around the living/dining/office area. So yesterday she kept out two quarter sheets of paper and recycled another 8 pieces of paper with various doodles on them. Victory!
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Kitchen debris before
So today's deadline in my declutter project is the kitchen. I've been working on it since mid-December and here's the clutter remaining as of yesterday. And no, not the entire kitchen is pictured and no, you can't see inside my drawers cuz it's still scary but in drawers is such an improvement over not in drawers that I'll take it.
So here's the final set of the Before images.
I think the level of clutter is so far out of hand I just UGH. One of the things I decided some time ago was that I would not be sole arbiter of the clutter. I could clean it all up myself. I can and do occasionally clean up the mess myself but because I don't make it all myself, I decided that I'm not going to clean not my mess. There is a line and I imagined that if the clutter crossed that line, other people in the house would notice and would clean up sometimes. Oh being wrong. This hasn't happened at all.
Anyway, I am fighting this clutter battle in the theory that if we reset to zero clutter, anyone who enters the kitchen won't dare add to the mess that isn't there. Right? That's a reasonable theory? I actually have no idea... certainly no better idea. Blech clutter.
Let's make a list of what is there and why it's there/how long it's been there.
Image 1: 2 bags of baby food jars, one tub of baby food jars, the heat vent, kid's plastic chair with a lazy susan set on top of it, one of the barstools that goes with the table with a speaker on top for playing audio in the kidtchen, laundry hamper that is currently holding a basket of recycling topped with that plastic bubble thing the kid dragged in and a fancy dress of the baby's, and another basket of recycling on the floor next to it. On the table is the packaging from my fancy new slippers because the trash is overflowing and I'm not adding to the heap just now, a half loaf of bread in the green flash, my soda carbonating doodad behind that.
Image 2: Let's start on the left. Bag with the blue dots is actually hanging on the fridge, plastic tub of bottle parts, the knife block, gas station beverage cup, bottles of hot sauce, that soda machine again with the breadbag and packaging again. Foreground: bananas, utensil holder that's overstuffed, half gallon of juice that's homeless, scissors that are broken and only good for stabbing, pamphlet, child art that's actually on top of a barstool pile of stuff, ice cream bucket of baby bottles with the manual to the high chair on top (recently rescued from a kid art project attempt), receipts dumped out of reusable grocery bags, another gas station cup of water.
Image 3, just below image 2: reusable grocery bag, shoebox with holiday presents inside, another reusable but shiny grocery bag, baby hat, baby carseat with blanket in it, barstool mostly under the table, glass tray from the faith community that came home with treats on it before Christmas, case of mac and cheese in boxes, fox stuffed animal, just above the picture are those finger paintings from the other picture. Box-turned-caterpillar house that's now discarded, two empty soda cans, suitcase I think is empty, grocery bag with 7 lbs of pasta in it, and the recycling bin and bin of babyfood jars again.
Image 4, turning the corner from image 3: Now you can see a towel, a baby bucket cover, and two more reusable grocery bags. Up near the gate at this angle you can see I also missed another reusable grocery bag containing various board games and my festive holiday cards (unsent... ahem...).
Image 5, to the left of the fridge: Rice cooker (probably dirty since the lid is ajar), my clean water bottle, dish soap, full dish drainer, empty pitcher and box of instant potatoes behind the rice cooker, empty paper towel roll and empty glass bottles from some sparkling lemonade, bottle rack that's mostly full, ring from a gallon of milk, boxes of half-eaten cereal (I think there are about 8 boxes here, 8 more on top of the fridge unopened), and a fabulous laundry basket in front of the cereal to defend the counter against its usual pile of junk.
Image 6, the phone, directly opposite the table: cookbook we use (others are on the bookshelves elsewhere), card for daycare provider on top, random papers including take-out menus and faith community directory, prescription information (med cupboard is near here), router/modem with long Ethernet cable, boxes from some meds, bottle of magnesium supplement (unopened, purchased a year ago), decaf coffee (also unopened, purchased for cooking but not used yet), an insurance card (probably not current), bottle from baby's gassy period (empty I think), napkin holder that's empty, random assortment of medications that aren't in that cupboard for some reason, phone and answering machine (we're old school). Cupboards are below and above the phone, both not yet reorganized but I'm putting that off from today's kitchen fixing.
Impressions: there's so much more stuff here than I had realized. I've been doing dishes and taken out lots of trash/recycling over the last month and there's still all that mess left. Ugh. I also need to stamp up and down and emphasize the rest of the family's need to participate in the appropriate systems to keep this from happening. The baby food needs to be cleared out to either a home until we use it or a charity. Groceries need unpacking when you get home and do not just sit on the floor for days/weeks/who knows. The suitcases need a home somewhere or other. The one pictured was in the living room for weeks and I was promised it would be "put away" but I'll believe it when it isn't in the way anymore.
Emotions: I hate the kitchen mess most of all so I started here. It looks so nice when it's all dealt with. We can use that table! Excitement! Soon! My kid can fall off those stools soon too. I suppose it's a learning curve thing. I'm vaguely and ok really quite embarrassed about the whole mess but honesty. I need accountability and I am going to get that mess cleared up. Today.
Now back to work.
So here's the final set of the Before images.
 |
| Beside the build in table (sideways because I'm a technophobe) |
 |
| Top of the built in table (part 1 but actually the only pic) |
 |
| Floor just down from top view |
 |
| Turn the corner from the previous view |
 |
| Best way to keep the counter clean? Keep an empty laundry basket on it, just in case. |
 |
| This is opposite the built in table, home of the phone |
Anyway, I am fighting this clutter battle in the theory that if we reset to zero clutter, anyone who enters the kitchen won't dare add to the mess that isn't there. Right? That's a reasonable theory? I actually have no idea... certainly no better idea. Blech clutter.
Let's make a list of what is there and why it's there/how long it's been there.
Image 1: 2 bags of baby food jars, one tub of baby food jars, the heat vent, kid's plastic chair with a lazy susan set on top of it, one of the barstools that goes with the table with a speaker on top for playing audio in the kidtchen, laundry hamper that is currently holding a basket of recycling topped with that plastic bubble thing the kid dragged in and a fancy dress of the baby's, and another basket of recycling on the floor next to it. On the table is the packaging from my fancy new slippers because the trash is overflowing and I'm not adding to the heap just now, a half loaf of bread in the green flash, my soda carbonating doodad behind that.
Image 2: Let's start on the left. Bag with the blue dots is actually hanging on the fridge, plastic tub of bottle parts, the knife block, gas station beverage cup, bottles of hot sauce, that soda machine again with the breadbag and packaging again. Foreground: bananas, utensil holder that's overstuffed, half gallon of juice that's homeless, scissors that are broken and only good for stabbing, pamphlet, child art that's actually on top of a barstool pile of stuff, ice cream bucket of baby bottles with the manual to the high chair on top (recently rescued from a kid art project attempt), receipts dumped out of reusable grocery bags, another gas station cup of water.
Image 3, just below image 2: reusable grocery bag, shoebox with holiday presents inside, another reusable but shiny grocery bag, baby hat, baby carseat with blanket in it, barstool mostly under the table, glass tray from the faith community that came home with treats on it before Christmas, case of mac and cheese in boxes, fox stuffed animal, just above the picture are those finger paintings from the other picture. Box-turned-caterpillar house that's now discarded, two empty soda cans, suitcase I think is empty, grocery bag with 7 lbs of pasta in it, and the recycling bin and bin of babyfood jars again.
Image 4, turning the corner from image 3: Now you can see a towel, a baby bucket cover, and two more reusable grocery bags. Up near the gate at this angle you can see I also missed another reusable grocery bag containing various board games and my festive holiday cards (unsent... ahem...).
Image 5, to the left of the fridge: Rice cooker (probably dirty since the lid is ajar), my clean water bottle, dish soap, full dish drainer, empty pitcher and box of instant potatoes behind the rice cooker, empty paper towel roll and empty glass bottles from some sparkling lemonade, bottle rack that's mostly full, ring from a gallon of milk, boxes of half-eaten cereal (I think there are about 8 boxes here, 8 more on top of the fridge unopened), and a fabulous laundry basket in front of the cereal to defend the counter against its usual pile of junk.
Image 6, the phone, directly opposite the table: cookbook we use (others are on the bookshelves elsewhere), card for daycare provider on top, random papers including take-out menus and faith community directory, prescription information (med cupboard is near here), router/modem with long Ethernet cable, boxes from some meds, bottle of magnesium supplement (unopened, purchased a year ago), decaf coffee (also unopened, purchased for cooking but not used yet), an insurance card (probably not current), bottle from baby's gassy period (empty I think), napkin holder that's empty, random assortment of medications that aren't in that cupboard for some reason, phone and answering machine (we're old school). Cupboards are below and above the phone, both not yet reorganized but I'm putting that off from today's kitchen fixing.
Impressions: there's so much more stuff here than I had realized. I've been doing dishes and taken out lots of trash/recycling over the last month and there's still all that mess left. Ugh. I also need to stamp up and down and emphasize the rest of the family's need to participate in the appropriate systems to keep this from happening. The baby food needs to be cleared out to either a home until we use it or a charity. Groceries need unpacking when you get home and do not just sit on the floor for days/weeks/who knows. The suitcases need a home somewhere or other. The one pictured was in the living room for weeks and I was promised it would be "put away" but I'll believe it when it isn't in the way anymore.
Emotions: I hate the kitchen mess most of all so I started here. It looks so nice when it's all dealt with. We can use that table! Excitement! Soon! My kid can fall off those stools soon too. I suppose it's a learning curve thing. I'm vaguely and ok really quite embarrassed about the whole mess but honesty. I need accountability and I am going to get that mess cleared up. Today.
Now back to work.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
The case of the toy clutter
In either August or September I got fed up with the kid resisting putting her toys away. She had 2 bins of toys plus maybe 3 other random baskets of them on the main floor of the house that generally got dumped around the living room and dining room and sometimes into the office and kitchen. Daily.
Our policy was that she needed to pick them up before bed. We started 10 or15 minutes before bed and it was such a nightmare. "It will take forever to pick them up! I can't do it!" followed by a flop and a round of floor pounding and screaming if we tried to convince her to pick up. Nothing seemed to work. Many times there would be throwing the toys after the flailing. If she asked nicely, we would help her, and occasionally she'd get there, but not often. If one of us would help, she would pick up no more than 5 toys and then repeat the "I can't! It will take forever!" speech while watching us pick up.
So I banished the toys. I took away all of her toys from her room, the main level, all that I could find. I left out the baby's toys (some stuffed animals and plastic rings) since she wasn't having her toys taken away for failure to take care of them. I had expected protests and fussing and demands for the return of toys.
I was totally wrong. No such protests were forthcoming. She happily colored pictures and made up elaborate imaginary sequences with the stuffed animals and found her dress-up clothes stuffed under her bed. Since then she's gotten a number of strips of cloth and has added a few blankets to her regular toy cycle. No demands for any of the old toys. I think the clutter of so many toys totally overwhelmed her and it will be better to have a neat space with few things to take out rather than more places to put things away.
Now we just have to get back on the "you must help pick up at bedtime" bandwagon. Her elaborate networks of bathrobe belted tents between chairs just don't work during the day with adults cruising the house in varying states of late for something. I'm kind of tempted to just dispose of the rest of the toys quietly when she isn't looking so they never have to come back from the basement.
Figuring out how many of anything to keep is a real challenge around here. We are working on it. I think being broke is an especially great way to suddenly hang onto everything because you know you can't replace anything. Take our couch for example. It was painful to sit on it and making both adults very uncomfortable it was so worn out, so we hauled it out of the house and it will go to the dump the next time it's really cheap or free. We moved in a pair of wicker chairs we've had a decade that used to go on our back porch, back when we had a porch at all and when we had zero children and time to sit on it (rarely). They aren't awesome or very comfortable but they are better than that couch and better than nothing, so we are going with it for now. Had we used them in a year before we moved? Nope. Am I glad in retrospect that we kept them? Oh yes.
During the long wait for Little Monster, I decided that 4 years between kids and 3 years of hoping for a second one meant it was time to clear out all the kid's saved things (pretty much). We gave away a swing, a high chair, 5 boxes of baby/small kid clothes (all of them I could find), 2 strollers. Impressively this was within the week I discovered we were expecting Little Monster but still. Did we need to keep that stuff? We have been handily restocked by our faith community and a friend with a 2 year old girl and she is set for clothes until she's probably 3. I miss that high chair but the booster seat more or less works. The double stroller is reasonably good even when only driving Little Monster around (except in snow, it needs some skis. I am threatening to get a pair from a used sports gear shop to affix to it because sidewalks just don't stay clear enough around here).
What should we keep of hers now? Do we bank on a third child being a baby or small enough to wear anything of hers? Do we ditch it all presuming we will be able to afford to buy clothes for a third child by the time we get around to one joining our family? EMOTIONS.
Mostly the clutter isn't that fraught. We cleared out a cupboard tonight, keeping only 1/3 of its contents because who needs 3 juice pitchers anyway and why do we own 7 funnels plus a canning funnel? The kid is a great re-user and would happily reuse everything for something new if allowed. It cannot be allowed though. It is January and no caterpillar home can be built now and no matter how hard she works on it, it will not be intact by the time there are caterpillars.
My project for the year is not only decluttering but building a system to prevent the clutter in the first place. I fail at goals. I totally crash them one way or another. Instead I'm going to focus on building a system for myself and hopefully for the rest of the family so things are smoother. Every day we get up and do the same things, every meal we end by scraping plate or bowl and getting it into the dishwasher, every day the dishwasher gets run and emptied once it's done, every afternoon while both girls are at daycare/after-school care I go to the gym for a bit to run around, all that jazz. More structure to the sameness that is my life, less inertia keeping things the same. More of someone emptying the rotten (imagine that's your favorite curse) trash and recycling frequently, less piles around the house and overflowing cans. I read this article recently and it is exactly right. I'm giving up goals because I reliably hit the goal and then go back to old behavior and no more. New systems, no goals per se.
I need a system and a routine to support me. Once the system is up and working well, I will hit those goals easily (cook more, run a 5k and then a 10k, declutter and keep the clutter gone). Now for actually putting the routine into place and getting it to stick... Let's hope it goes well!
Our policy was that she needed to pick them up before bed. We started 10 or15 minutes before bed and it was such a nightmare. "It will take forever to pick them up! I can't do it!" followed by a flop and a round of floor pounding and screaming if we tried to convince her to pick up. Nothing seemed to work. Many times there would be throwing the toys after the flailing. If she asked nicely, we would help her, and occasionally she'd get there, but not often. If one of us would help, she would pick up no more than 5 toys and then repeat the "I can't! It will take forever!" speech while watching us pick up.
So I banished the toys. I took away all of her toys from her room, the main level, all that I could find. I left out the baby's toys (some stuffed animals and plastic rings) since she wasn't having her toys taken away for failure to take care of them. I had expected protests and fussing and demands for the return of toys.
I was totally wrong. No such protests were forthcoming. She happily colored pictures and made up elaborate imaginary sequences with the stuffed animals and found her dress-up clothes stuffed under her bed. Since then she's gotten a number of strips of cloth and has added a few blankets to her regular toy cycle. No demands for any of the old toys. I think the clutter of so many toys totally overwhelmed her and it will be better to have a neat space with few things to take out rather than more places to put things away.
Now we just have to get back on the "you must help pick up at bedtime" bandwagon. Her elaborate networks of bathrobe belted tents between chairs just don't work during the day with adults cruising the house in varying states of late for something. I'm kind of tempted to just dispose of the rest of the toys quietly when she isn't looking so they never have to come back from the basement.
Figuring out how many of anything to keep is a real challenge around here. We are working on it. I think being broke is an especially great way to suddenly hang onto everything because you know you can't replace anything. Take our couch for example. It was painful to sit on it and making both adults very uncomfortable it was so worn out, so we hauled it out of the house and it will go to the dump the next time it's really cheap or free. We moved in a pair of wicker chairs we've had a decade that used to go on our back porch, back when we had a porch at all and when we had zero children and time to sit on it (rarely). They aren't awesome or very comfortable but they are better than that couch and better than nothing, so we are going with it for now. Had we used them in a year before we moved? Nope. Am I glad in retrospect that we kept them? Oh yes.
During the long wait for Little Monster, I decided that 4 years between kids and 3 years of hoping for a second one meant it was time to clear out all the kid's saved things (pretty much). We gave away a swing, a high chair, 5 boxes of baby/small kid clothes (all of them I could find), 2 strollers. Impressively this was within the week I discovered we were expecting Little Monster but still. Did we need to keep that stuff? We have been handily restocked by our faith community and a friend with a 2 year old girl and she is set for clothes until she's probably 3. I miss that high chair but the booster seat more or less works. The double stroller is reasonably good even when only driving Little Monster around (except in snow, it needs some skis. I am threatening to get a pair from a used sports gear shop to affix to it because sidewalks just don't stay clear enough around here).
What should we keep of hers now? Do we bank on a third child being a baby or small enough to wear anything of hers? Do we ditch it all presuming we will be able to afford to buy clothes for a third child by the time we get around to one joining our family? EMOTIONS.
Mostly the clutter isn't that fraught. We cleared out a cupboard tonight, keeping only 1/3 of its contents because who needs 3 juice pitchers anyway and why do we own 7 funnels plus a canning funnel? The kid is a great re-user and would happily reuse everything for something new if allowed. It cannot be allowed though. It is January and no caterpillar home can be built now and no matter how hard she works on it, it will not be intact by the time there are caterpillars.
My project for the year is not only decluttering but building a system to prevent the clutter in the first place. I fail at goals. I totally crash them one way or another. Instead I'm going to focus on building a system for myself and hopefully for the rest of the family so things are smoother. Every day we get up and do the same things, every meal we end by scraping plate or bowl and getting it into the dishwasher, every day the dishwasher gets run and emptied once it's done, every afternoon while both girls are at daycare/after-school care I go to the gym for a bit to run around, all that jazz. More structure to the sameness that is my life, less inertia keeping things the same. More of someone emptying the rotten (imagine that's your favorite curse) trash and recycling frequently, less piles around the house and overflowing cans. I read this article recently and it is exactly right. I'm giving up goals because I reliably hit the goal and then go back to old behavior and no more. New systems, no goals per se.
I need a system and a routine to support me. Once the system is up and working well, I will hit those goals easily (cook more, run a 5k and then a 10k, declutter and keep the clutter gone). Now for actually putting the routine into place and getting it to stick... Let's hope it goes well!
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Making a list and checking it twice
It is the time to declutter around the house. IT IS TIME.
I started on the decluttering project mid-December by overhauling my kitchen. I moved all the food to a new shelf in the kitchen, some of the dry goods to a closed door pantry in the dining room, and I've started weeding the frequently used pans from the rarely used ones and storying the less used stuff in the inaccessible cupboards.
Currently I have one cabinet empty waiting for me to clean out the mouse debris (the inspiration for moving the food) and be repurposed for small appliance storage rather than the handy cupboard that currently has the small appliances. I'm still considering the merits of other mouse mitigation strategies beyond leaving the thing open for the cat to cruise into it overnight a few times.
Now, with the inspiration from SRB and Stephanie I am making the list and prioritizing taming the mess. Sometime later this week is coming a post about how to deal with being married to someone whose enthusiasm for decluttering doesn't at all match yours. And the trash and how you should never let trash be a major source of marital unrest and yet sometimes it happens nonetheless...
Anyway, here is my list. I leave for rotations mid-May (2 back to back where I'll only be home weekends, one home, one far away that the family may come with, one home, Thanksgiving break, mystery rotation, mystery rotation, very far from home rotation, GRADUATE! is my schedule for the year starting in May) so there is a time crunch.
And I'm not sure I mentioned it, but I very something-something-ly signed up to be cookie boss for the kid's scout group so that will also be occupying my house/basement starting all too soon. Whoa.
Kitchen - deadline is the end of this week. Currently there remain 3 chunks of counter that are coated in dishes and other debris and one minor cupboard switcheroo left.
Dining room - goal is end of this week, deadline is the week after that.
Basement - goal is January 17th, deadline January 23rd. This is order only, contents of the basement will get dealt with hopefully within this time but the drop dead basement purge deadline is February 5th.
Bookshelves - goal is January 23, deadline is January 31.
Desk - goal of January 31, deadline of February 5th.
Office pile of debris on the floor - goal of February 5th, deadline of February 14th.
Office pile of debris above the built-in shelves - goal of February 14th, deadline of February 21st.
Office files - goal of February 28th, deadline of March 7th.
Living room - goal of March 7th, deadline of March 11th.
Master bedroom - goal of as soon as humanly possible, deadline of March 13th.
Girls' room - goal of March 13th, deadline of March 17th.
Laundry room - goal of March 17th, deadline March 22nd.
Garage east side - goal of March 28th, deadline of April 4th.
Garage south side - goal of April 4th, deadline of April 11th.
Garage west side - goal of May 2, deadline of May 9th.
Garden in the front yard - goal of 1 week from snow melt, deadline of May 10th.
Garden in the fenced yard - goal of 1 week from snow melt, deadline of May 11th.
Garden in the back yard - goal of 1 week from snow melt, deadline of May 12th.
So there we have it. The plan is all laid out and if I stick to it, the house will be in something resembling order before I start rotations. Bazinga!
I'm setting up my various things that DING! to remind me of these deadlines 3 days ahead and on the day of, adding them as a special to-do list in my email (each class has an assignment to-do list as well so I can prioritize easily what needs to happen based on how soon it's due), and they will go on the wall calendar. Accountability is happening and I'm hopeful I'll get some posts together about the experience. We have moved 8 times in less than a decade so we have many boxes of random stuff packed by someone else that haven't been opened in years that need to be dealt with, we got stuck with a bunch of stuff when my parents helped pack our stuff out of their house (see the 16 coffee cups in addition to our dozen or so, plus many more surprises I'm sure), and the bad packrat tendencies need to be fixed NOW.
Let's declutter!
I started on the decluttering project mid-December by overhauling my kitchen. I moved all the food to a new shelf in the kitchen, some of the dry goods to a closed door pantry in the dining room, and I've started weeding the frequently used pans from the rarely used ones and storying the less used stuff in the inaccessible cupboards.
Currently I have one cabinet empty waiting for me to clean out the mouse debris (the inspiration for moving the food) and be repurposed for small appliance storage rather than the handy cupboard that currently has the small appliances. I'm still considering the merits of other mouse mitigation strategies beyond leaving the thing open for the cat to cruise into it overnight a few times.
Now, with the inspiration from SRB and Stephanie I am making the list and prioritizing taming the mess. Sometime later this week is coming a post about how to deal with being married to someone whose enthusiasm for decluttering doesn't at all match yours. And the trash and how you should never let trash be a major source of marital unrest and yet sometimes it happens nonetheless...
Anyway, here is my list. I leave for rotations mid-May (2 back to back where I'll only be home weekends, one home, one far away that the family may come with, one home, Thanksgiving break, mystery rotation, mystery rotation, very far from home rotation, GRADUATE! is my schedule for the year starting in May) so there is a time crunch.
And I'm not sure I mentioned it, but I very something-something-ly signed up to be cookie boss for the kid's scout group so that will also be occupying my house/basement starting all too soon. Whoa.
Kitchen - deadline is the end of this week. Currently there remain 3 chunks of counter that are coated in dishes and other debris and one minor cupboard switcheroo left.
Dining room - goal is end of this week, deadline is the week after that.
Basement - goal is January 17th, deadline January 23rd. This is order only, contents of the basement will get dealt with hopefully within this time but the drop dead basement purge deadline is February 5th.
Bookshelves - goal is January 23, deadline is January 31.
Desk - goal of January 31, deadline of February 5th.
Office pile of debris on the floor - goal of February 5th, deadline of February 14th.
Office pile of debris above the built-in shelves - goal of February 14th, deadline of February 21st.
Office files - goal of February 28th, deadline of March 7th.
Living room - goal of March 7th, deadline of March 11th.
Master bedroom - goal of as soon as humanly possible, deadline of March 13th.
Girls' room - goal of March 13th, deadline of March 17th.
Laundry room - goal of March 17th, deadline March 22nd.
Garage east side - goal of March 28th, deadline of April 4th.
Garage south side - goal of April 4th, deadline of April 11th.
Garage west side - goal of May 2, deadline of May 9th.
Garden in the front yard - goal of 1 week from snow melt, deadline of May 10th.
Garden in the fenced yard - goal of 1 week from snow melt, deadline of May 11th.
Garden in the back yard - goal of 1 week from snow melt, deadline of May 12th.
So there we have it. The plan is all laid out and if I stick to it, the house will be in something resembling order before I start rotations. Bazinga!
I'm setting up my various things that DING! to remind me of these deadlines 3 days ahead and on the day of, adding them as a special to-do list in my email (each class has an assignment to-do list as well so I can prioritize easily what needs to happen based on how soon it's due), and they will go on the wall calendar. Accountability is happening and I'm hopeful I'll get some posts together about the experience. We have moved 8 times in less than a decade so we have many boxes of random stuff packed by someone else that haven't been opened in years that need to be dealt with, we got stuck with a bunch of stuff when my parents helped pack our stuff out of their house (see the 16 coffee cups in addition to our dozen or so, plus many more surprises I'm sure), and the bad packrat tendencies need to be fixed NOW.
Let's declutter!
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Ready, break!
I am bad at taking a break but I decided to take a full 3 days off with no studying or anything school related. It's now expanded into day 5. I may even take tomorrow off as well! Kapow!
In the meantime, things spiral ever on around here with the girls getting too big. My computer is ill and I'm giving it a winter break too so I'm sorry for not commenting. It's really hard to comment from the spouse's computer and so I'm very far behind but I am reading and thinking happy thoughts for everyone.
Here's what I've been pondering lately that might turn into whole posts if I'm willing to spend more time at the computer:
The new healthcare law: it frustrates me to no end that my county healthcare employees have no idea what's going on with it (and I live where medicaid is expanding so it isn't like this is some surprise taking employees by storm, it's been in the works for years). We've been getting the run around from them for almost 8 weeks now and I'm about ready to throw something at them. Maybe I should try cookies. I bet cookies would get better results. Bureaucratic nonsense just maddens me and that we have a huge bureaucracy built up to support the weird insurance patchwork that exists in America bugs me. Lots.
Giant leaps and bounds in Little Monster growth. She says things sometimes, including KITTY! and dada and mama and meeee! (which seems to mean MILK! or HOLD ME!). Yesterday she said "in der" in reference to a bowl she was looking into. She climbs low stairs like it's no big thing at all. She has 3 teeth and a few more should turn up soon. Standing for up to a minute with bending down to grab a thing to shake happens. Whoa.
The personhood of businesses and whether they are entitled to a faith or not. I personally avoid patronizing businesses that advertise their religious connection because I think it's downright immoral to give businesses person-like rights to donate money to political campaigns and nonprofits. I am choosing rotations to avoid pharmacies that advertise for "crisis pregnancy centers" because I think those are a travesty and should be defunded ASAP. It's complicated but in short, no more personhood for anyone who isn't a person. Should animals be protected under the law? Sure but not as if they are people because they are not. Defining "people" and "person" more broadly than those of us living, breathing, humans is a very dangerous slippery slope.
Personhood laws are also on my hate list. My opinion is that, as there's no evidence to the contrary based in science, we cannot give the unborn the rights of a person. Note above where I pointed out that a person should be narrowly defined as a living and breathing human. Can't live or breathe on your own? Not a person and not entitled to the rights and protections of a person, therefore pregnant people ought to retain their rights and not have them superseded by "rights of the fetus." Embryos aren't people so they shouldn't get rights like a person. Should they be protected? Yes. Should they be used for any old science research? Probably not without a lot of supervision and careful ethical consideration, but it shouldn't be prevented on the grounds that "embryos are people." Definition of a person needs limiting to an actual, living, breathing person.
I am so ready to be done with school. And pumping. Maybe not nursing but pumping. Gag. I think my feelings have shifted on the subject and I have things to say but probably at length. For now I am excited that I'm not getting bitten.
In the meantime, things spiral ever on around here with the girls getting too big. My computer is ill and I'm giving it a winter break too so I'm sorry for not commenting. It's really hard to comment from the spouse's computer and so I'm very far behind but I am reading and thinking happy thoughts for everyone.
Here's what I've been pondering lately that might turn into whole posts if I'm willing to spend more time at the computer:
The new healthcare law: it frustrates me to no end that my county healthcare employees have no idea what's going on with it (and I live where medicaid is expanding so it isn't like this is some surprise taking employees by storm, it's been in the works for years). We've been getting the run around from them for almost 8 weeks now and I'm about ready to throw something at them. Maybe I should try cookies. I bet cookies would get better results. Bureaucratic nonsense just maddens me and that we have a huge bureaucracy built up to support the weird insurance patchwork that exists in America bugs me. Lots.
Giant leaps and bounds in Little Monster growth. She says things sometimes, including KITTY! and dada and mama and meeee! (which seems to mean MILK! or HOLD ME!). Yesterday she said "in der" in reference to a bowl she was looking into. She climbs low stairs like it's no big thing at all. She has 3 teeth and a few more should turn up soon. Standing for up to a minute with bending down to grab a thing to shake happens. Whoa.
The personhood of businesses and whether they are entitled to a faith or not. I personally avoid patronizing businesses that advertise their religious connection because I think it's downright immoral to give businesses person-like rights to donate money to political campaigns and nonprofits. I am choosing rotations to avoid pharmacies that advertise for "crisis pregnancy centers" because I think those are a travesty and should be defunded ASAP. It's complicated but in short, no more personhood for anyone who isn't a person. Should animals be protected under the law? Sure but not as if they are people because they are not. Defining "people" and "person" more broadly than those of us living, breathing, humans is a very dangerous slippery slope.
Personhood laws are also on my hate list. My opinion is that, as there's no evidence to the contrary based in science, we cannot give the unborn the rights of a person. Note above where I pointed out that a person should be narrowly defined as a living and breathing human. Can't live or breathe on your own? Not a person and not entitled to the rights and protections of a person, therefore pregnant people ought to retain their rights and not have them superseded by "rights of the fetus." Embryos aren't people so they shouldn't get rights like a person. Should they be protected? Yes. Should they be used for any old science research? Probably not without a lot of supervision and careful ethical consideration, but it shouldn't be prevented on the grounds that "embryos are people." Definition of a person needs limiting to an actual, living, breathing person.
I am so ready to be done with school. And pumping. Maybe not nursing but pumping. Gag. I think my feelings have shifted on the subject and I have things to say but probably at length. For now I am excited that I'm not getting bitten.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Daycare drama
I've been pretty happy with no daycare for Little Monster the past several months. She likes being home and having personal parental attention. I like avoiding pumping as much as possible. But to everything there comes an end. It's time for daycare.
So that leaves us looking. We got really stinking lucky and found 3 places with openings in January (and we're on the wait list for the "good" center in town where there might be an opening by September). The first place was acceptable but not what I'd really like. It's an in-home daycare and it's at capacity but the space is really small. Plus every wall had 2 or 3 Jesus-related pictures or crucifixes or cutesy Biblical sayings. It made me gag. They also have the TV on to kids' programming all day. At the very least the kid is a super TV zombie. She gets mesmerized and will watch stuff for 5-15 minutes, then declare she hates it and please change the channel, then when it doesn't change (you can go do other things, we remind her), stays another half hour. I imagine Little Monster will be much the same way, just falling in to watch TV more than she would if it weren't just on.
We went to the second place yesterday and it's perfect. Double the space of the first, the provider mentions how she picks up kids' music CDs at childcare conferences she goes to because the kids like it, all that. And today she decides because of her husband's health she's not going to take any new kids right now. Bah.
Tomorrow is the third place. It's a center too but my impression is it's a place people choose out of desperation rather than because it's great. They offer 24 hour childcare and are probably one of a very few places within 50 miles that do so. Sigh. Talking with them it doesn't sound awful but I'm wary.
I feel like we have a good handle on what we're doing in choosing a daycare as we've had far too much practice at it, and yet it's so hard. Especially since I feel more and more every day how much we screwed up leaving the kid in care that has damaged her or at least switched her anxiety switch on and ramped it up to 11 I fret. The best part is we have to have a decision made so we can get quotes so I can get financial aid to cover the cost (more debt! yay!). Now I'm peeved because our best choice (probably) is out of the game which hopefully means either the next place is amazing or we get lucky again and find something else somehow. Before the end of the semester. While the spouse suddenly has more than a full-time job for the week. Yay.
One of my great wishes in life is that free or low cost, quality, public childcare was available. It's such a fiasco to find care for a baby. Or if we can't have public childcare, could we at least have 6 months of paid parental leave? Even a year? I bet it wouldn't even cost that much in taxes to do it. The level of quality varies so widely between "licensed" providers it's maddening. Someday the politicians will take what's best for families seriously. For now, it is a mess.
So that leaves us looking. We got really stinking lucky and found 3 places with openings in January (and we're on the wait list for the "good" center in town where there might be an opening by September). The first place was acceptable but not what I'd really like. It's an in-home daycare and it's at capacity but the space is really small. Plus every wall had 2 or 3 Jesus-related pictures or crucifixes or cutesy Biblical sayings. It made me gag. They also have the TV on to kids' programming all day. At the very least the kid is a super TV zombie. She gets mesmerized and will watch stuff for 5-15 minutes, then declare she hates it and please change the channel, then when it doesn't change (you can go do other things, we remind her), stays another half hour. I imagine Little Monster will be much the same way, just falling in to watch TV more than she would if it weren't just on.
We went to the second place yesterday and it's perfect. Double the space of the first, the provider mentions how she picks up kids' music CDs at childcare conferences she goes to because the kids like it, all that. And today she decides because of her husband's health she's not going to take any new kids right now. Bah.
Tomorrow is the third place. It's a center too but my impression is it's a place people choose out of desperation rather than because it's great. They offer 24 hour childcare and are probably one of a very few places within 50 miles that do so. Sigh. Talking with them it doesn't sound awful but I'm wary.
I feel like we have a good handle on what we're doing in choosing a daycare as we've had far too much practice at it, and yet it's so hard. Especially since I feel more and more every day how much we screwed up leaving the kid in care that has damaged her or at least switched her anxiety switch on and ramped it up to 11 I fret. The best part is we have to have a decision made so we can get quotes so I can get financial aid to cover the cost (more debt! yay!). Now I'm peeved because our best choice (probably) is out of the game which hopefully means either the next place is amazing or we get lucky again and find something else somehow. Before the end of the semester. While the spouse suddenly has more than a full-time job for the week. Yay.
One of my great wishes in life is that free or low cost, quality, public childcare was available. It's such a fiasco to find care for a baby. Or if we can't have public childcare, could we at least have 6 months of paid parental leave? Even a year? I bet it wouldn't even cost that much in taxes to do it. The level of quality varies so widely between "licensed" providers it's maddening. Someday the politicians will take what's best for families seriously. For now, it is a mess.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Of leashes and liberties
I really enjoyed reading the different posts over at PAIL bloggers about the "big picture" approach to parenting and how your ALI background has or hasn't influenced your parenting. I enjoyed them so much you're gonna be stuck with my belated contribution! Suggested topic questions have bullets because I like lists and it's almost finals so I'm ready to think fast and get onto the next thing.
So I suppose I'm getting at that right now, I am incredibly frustrated with my parenting skills. Whatever we try fails and often with spectacularly bad results. The other week the kid refused to go to her room upstairs, and refused to stand in the corner for a time out instead, and refused to go punch the punching bag downstairs, so she got carried upstairs. This was met with much protesting and shrieking and throwing things at the spouse and me and then the spouse's glasses got chucked downstairs and a lens vanished. Then the shrieking about how "you are so mean and made me throw that stuff at you!" commenced. UGH. She spends all her time blaming others for her choices. I really hope it clicks soon that she decided to do things and nobody made her and if she stops, looks for the perfect thing to throw, and then throws it, she can absolutely control herself... Bad phase, nothing is working, I think we need to see if someone can help us figure out how to fix the anxiety because I'm going nuts trying to cope with her. And I need more skittles.
- Does your ALI background make you feel like you need to spend more time being exclusively focused on your child?
- Are you more “hands off” as a parent than you thought you’d be? More of a “helicopter parent?” Are you happy with the type of parent you’ve turned out to be?
So I suppose I'm getting at that right now, I am incredibly frustrated with my parenting skills. Whatever we try fails and often with spectacularly bad results. The other week the kid refused to go to her room upstairs, and refused to stand in the corner for a time out instead, and refused to go punch the punching bag downstairs, so she got carried upstairs. This was met with much protesting and shrieking and throwing things at the spouse and me and then the spouse's glasses got chucked downstairs and a lens vanished. Then the shrieking about how "you are so mean and made me throw that stuff at you!" commenced. UGH. She spends all her time blaming others for her choices. I really hope it clicks soon that she decided to do things and nobody made her and if she stops, looks for the perfect thing to throw, and then throws it, she can absolutely control herself... Bad phase, nothing is working, I think we need to see if someone can help us figure out how to fix the anxiety because I'm going nuts trying to cope with her. And I need more skittles.
- Does your child do well with independent play? If so, did you have to consciously encourage this or did it just happen?
- If your child doesn’t do much independent play, do you simply focus more on group learning and activities?
- Does the length of your “leash” change depending upon if you’re at home or in public (e.g. at the park)?
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