Sunday, July 22, 2012

Fear and acceptance

So I'm cautiously optimistic that I'll stay pregnant, that everything will be fine, and that I'll hold a baby in my arms eventually.

But as I say that, I'm crying. I'm so scared.  I guess I'd glossed over how worried I am until yesterday when I was discussing the previous pregnancy with a friend.

No more glossing.  I am terrified to screw this up.  I am terrified that I'll have to be so sad for months again.  I really feel like I just got the hang of life and quit crying randomly and here we are.

If I've learned anything, it's to accept what I get in life because today is it.  There's no sense worrying about the future if you ignore today.  Life is about making the most of today.

So I'm going to focus on that and manage what I can with today.

And I'm going to try to remind myself of that every day because I sure do forget.

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